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‘When people speak about the greatest power of the human experience, most will say that power is love. But the truth is that the greatest power that the human being can strive to attain is authentic, healthy self-esteem. Without a sense of who you are and without truly respecting and honoring yourself, loving other people will not come easy and it will not feel safe. When you have a sense of your Sacred Contracts, you learn that the course of your life – your destiny – is not in the hands of others, or dependent on whether they approve of your choices, or you approve of theirs. Your destiny is part of a much bigger plan. Every person is born longing to walk the path of destiny and to meet the people along that path.’ – Caroline Myss

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF LOSING FRIENDS by Ula Moleda

I dedicate this allegory to everyone who has difficulty with letting go of friends.

 

I am traveling in my train. I am passing beautiful places, natural wonders, blue oceans, magnificent mountains, and towns - creations of amazing minds. My train is full of people who come and go as they please. We talk and dance together. We have a good laughter and a good cry together. We play guitar and sing songs. We care for each other and enjoy each other’s company.

 

There is so much space in the train. It is always open, the door never close for new co-travelers. I take care of the train that speeds across the land with passengers experiencing together every bit of the journey. I want my train to be adventurous and fun. Sometimes it speeds so fast that I don’t know what month or even a year is. Sometimes it moves slowly and I can see everything clearly, free from confusion and doubts.  

 

I love the company of friends. They come and go. Sometimes they stay 5 minutes, sometimes 15 years - but that doesn’t matter as there is no time in my train. They always bring amazing quality of their human nature, their beauty, wisdom and energy. Our willingness to have a beautiful journey together is a motor, an engine for our train. It moves us the way that sometimes I feel that it has wings. This train can actually fly!

 

I have different friends in different carriages. With some I talk about the beauty of nature, with others about beauty of human beings. With some I listen to music, with others I watch movies. Sometimes we gather in one carriage and we all have fun together.

 

There are times when I close myself in my carriage and don’t see anyone for days. My friends do the same. Sometimes their carriages are so far away that it’s challenging to see them as often as I would like to. But we know that we have a common engine. We know we have a common track for the same train going in the same direction.

 

There are times that I jump into a friend’s carriage to enjoy heart to heart or mind to mind meeting. I also know that some carriages need to be left on the station to make my train lighter and healthier. To give it a new speed, higher energy.

 

And sometimes I see someone leaving my train. Some of my friends say goodbye and thank for the journey together, saying that now they want to experience different train with different people. And I see them boarding on a different train and going toward different direction. And I wish them Fantastic Journey and remind them that my train is always open for them.

 

But sometimes my train is left by friends without a note, without goodbye. I stop the train then. I wait on the station for some time, trying to figure out whether it’s only a stop or changing the trains for them. And I am not sure. I still wait. My train is moving. I wait. And only after some time I might stop waiting. It is not easy to let go of any friend, but it’s terribly challenging to let go of friends without saying final goodbye.

 

At that time I have to remind myself that every one has a different path in this life, different lesson to learn, different people to meet. I say – still with pain in my heart - Panta Rhei, everything flows…everything changes. We do… The world around us does too. I trust that they will find a good and happy train with beautiful people on the board. I hope that their new journey will be fun with new people, new experiences and growth.

 

And I know, I have to let them go. The memory of being together might have been beautiful, the time we spent singing and dancing might have been the best ever, the places we discovered together might have been life changing – but I know, that I can not live holding to that. I know that we all have to move forward, keeping in our hearts the beauty of the friendship we were blessed to experience. I let them go honoring them, honoring myself, honoring the time we had together.

 

I send them light on their path, I say the prayers. There are still times when my heart might feel sad but I cuddle the heart with love and light, like a baby who needs to know that no matter what happens is loved and safe. And the grateful heart knows the song. The grateful heart knows the bit. The grateful heart knows that there is no need for tears as We All One.  

 

We are people who at certain time in our life decided to use the same train. I don’t know how long for. I don’t know when I will be saying next Hello, welcome back or goodbye.  

And that’s OK. I enjoy the moment. I enjoy this beautiful journey in my train with All My Friends, here and now. THANK YOU!

 

With Love & Light & Peace

Ula